One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece
by Neon Majestic
Summary: A series of random vignettes inspired by various stuff about the One Piece universe. I'll add to this as my creativity allows. Post-Enies Lobby. Rated T to be safe. No yaoi or yuri. Enjoy! VIGNETTE 11 UPLOADED!
1. Vignette 01

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 01**

It was another normal day on board the Thousand Sunny. Zoro and Sanji were busily trading insults. Robin was on the deck calmly reading one of her many books. Usopp was telling lie after lie about his supposed seafaring exploits to the ever-attentive and ever-gullible Chopper. Franky was chugging down cola like it was water, and Luffy was somewhere else on the ship doing only who knows what.

Inside the library, Nami was carefully drawing up the latest map, while doing her utmost best to drown out the boisterous noises from the crew outside with some humming of her own. Carefully, she drew a series of straight lines to help her map out the geographical location of the Sea King nests they'd passed just yesterday. That was not an experience she wanted to relive, particularly since these Sea Kings had seemingly been strategizing with each other to bring the Thousand Sunny underwater. Nami had never figured that Sea Kings could be capable of intelligent thought. As she drew up the map, she made a mental note not to forget that kind of information ever again.

The sounds of the crew's activity outside the library door thudded dully on Nami's brain, and she sighed and put the pen down. Out of the entire crew, she figured, only she and Robin were the closest to being normal or sane. Well, barring the fact that Robin was a Devil Fruit user, but that was beside the point. Franky _probably_ qualified as sane and normal…then Nami remembered that he constantly paraded around the ship in briefs and used cola as a power source for his weird cyborg body, and she immediately crossed him off the "normal and sane" list. Chopper was as normal as a blue-nosed reindeer who happened to be the ship's doctor and who could change his form to match any situation could get. Usopp was definitely nowhere near sane, what with the outrageous fibs he was always telling everyone about himself. And she didn't even want to get started on Zoro or Sanji—but at least she knew how to manipulate those two to get whatever she wanted; Zoro with the debt he owed her, Sanji with his ever-annoying declarations of love that Nami knew were motivated only by the brain that resided below his belt.

Then there was Luffy…

At the mere thought of her idiot captain, Nami's migraine multiplied a hundredfold. So far, she hadn't heard his voice out of the whole bunch outside, and as far as she could tell that would be for any number of reasons. Maybe he was trying to raid the fridge again, in which case it should be Sanji's problem and not hers. Only Nami knew that it would immediately become her problem if Sanji should go to the kitchen, find Luffy trying to break the fridge's padlock, and start a noisy quarrel that would only serve to intensify the headache she was currently feeling. Maybe Luffy was sleeping somewhere on the ship—but if he was sleeping somewhere he shouldn't be, one of the others might yell at him, and again that would hurt her head a lot more.

But just the fact that she wasn't hearing his voice outside at all caused Nami to rub her hands against her temple in irritation. At least if she knew where he was (and that was usually possible by listening out for his boisterous, childish screams), Nami could be somewhat prepared for whatever antic Luffy might come up with. But he was so unpredictable sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder why he was the captain of the ship. Then she remembered their pirate flag bore a skull wearing a straw hat, and Luffy was the only one on board who ever wore a straw hat, and he was the one who'd gathered them all together from Day One. Nami squeezed her eyes shut as the migraine stabbed at her skull.

Shaking her head, determined not to let the crew's insanity and Luffy's randomness get to her, Nami picked up the pen again and dipped its tip into the open ink bottle at the head of her desk…

…and suddenly, out of nowhere, the library door swung open with a bang, and Luffy's head came from the doorway right up to Nami's desk, his neck stretching thanks to the power of his Gomu Gomu fruit. "HI, NAMI!" he yelled out, right in her face.

Caught off-guard by Luffy's sudden unorthodox entrance, Nami shrieked and yanked her upper body backward in her seat. Unfortunately, in doing so, she yanked the pen out of the ink bottle quite forcibly—and this caused the bottle to tip over, spilling some of the ink onto a corner of the map she'd been working on.

Both of them froze. Their eyes widened as the ink stain slowly spread across the map. Then Nami's hair overshadowed her eyes; she gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. Luffy blinked at this development. "Uh, heh-heh-heh…sorry?"

Very, very slowly, Nami stood up, her fists tightly balled at her sides. She lifted her head, and now her eyes were visible—and there was a hunger for blood in them. "Luffy…why did you think it was so necessary to do that?" she asked in a voice that promised a whole century's worth of pain if she didn't get a rational answer from him.

Luffy chuckled a little. "Heh…well, I, uh…I just wanted to tell you something important, that's all."

"And _what_ could be _that_ important?" Nami grated.

Luffy grinned a little, though considering the look on Nami's face his grin was small. He stretched one hand from the doorway into the room, put that hand on top of his head—

—and in one swift movement, he lifted his trademark straw hat from his head and placed it on Nami's. "I just wanted to say…I think my hat looks really good on you." And then he stretched his head and hand back to the rest of his body at the doorway, gave a bigger grin, and then hurried off, shutting the door with a bang.

Nami just stood there, eyes wide with utter astonishment. Slowly, without her even realizing it for a moment, she reached a hand up to touch the straw hat. This hat, she knew, was the same straw hat that Luffy had mentioned he was safekeeping for Shanks, the famous pirate; the same straw hat that he'd fight to protect from being lost or damaged; the same straw hat he'd entrust to one or another of his nakama if he felt a situation was going to get ugly; the same straw hat he considered his greatest treasure. And there had been a few times when he'd entrusted the hat to her care while he dealt with an enemy, she remembered that much.

But Luffy had never before done such a thing as he'd just done.

A light blush crept over Nami's face as she touched the hat. All of a sudden, the migraine she'd been suffering and the huge ink stain that now ruined her newly-drawn map didn't seem quite so big after all.

She kept the hat on for the rest of the day.

--

neomage: I got the idea for this late last night at around 3:30 in the morning, when I should've been sleeping but was unable to do so. I was inspired to write this little piece after recalling how Luffy entrusted his hat to Nami before he wnet to fight Arlong, and again when he was going to fight Eneru during the Skypiea arc. And you have to admit, the straw hat DOES look good on Nami.

More random drabbles to come!


	2. Vignette 02

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 02**

The moon shone high up in the sky; the stars twinkled together by the hundreds. On the sea below, the Thousand Sunny was gently drifting along, the sail having been pulled up long ago to prevent any sudden strong wind from blowing the ship off-course.

Robin was standing alone on the deck, watching the night sky with a small smile on her face. She couldn't remember when last she'd felt this much at peace. She couldn't recall when last she'd been able to just look up at the stars without having to look over her shoulder every few seconds. With all the other crews she'd been part of over the years, suspicion had been a daily forte for her. With the Straw Hats, though, she could just be herself, do as she liked, and have that strange yet long-sought sense of truly belonging. Especially after all the carnage that had taken place at Enies Lobby only recently, she knew that, come hell or high water, this crew would never desert her.

"Robin?"

She didn't need to turn around to identify the voice's owner. "Hello, Chopper." Only after the crew had rescued her from the CP9 had she begun to fall into the habit of addressing the others by their names. Before, she would've addressed them by titles she'd thought up for each of them.

Behind her, the little anthropomorphic reindeer walked up. "You're still not asleep yet? You need to rest…"

"Thank you for the concern, but I'm okay—really," Robin assured him. "What about you, shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Chopper shook his head. "I couldn't sleep."

"Oh?" Robin cocked an eyebrow. "Cataloguing your new medical books, I take it?"

"Well, that too," Chopper admitted. "But…there's another reason. I was…I was scared, Robin."

"Scared?" Robin's curiosity was piqued now. "Of what?"

Chopper jumped up onto the deck's railing, sitting near Robin's shoulder. "I was scared…that I'd have the same dream again. Like last night."

Robin looked at him—this was a new one to her. "What dream?"

"Promise you won't tell the others?" Chopper asked, giving her an intense look.

Robin cocked an eyebrow slightly at this. "Okay."

Now Chopper closed his eyes as the memory came back to him. "They took you away…they wrapped you up in chains and took you away…and I was too weak from fighting the CP9, and I couldn't do anything…and then they sent all those battleships, and they killed the rest of the crew…and I couldn't save any of you…" His eyes opened again; they were shining even as he sniffled a little.

Understanding crossed Robin's face. Indeed, she understood all too well, all too intimately. The Buster Call was not something to be spoken about in jest. It had stolen her beloved homeland of Ohara all those years ago…and then a few days ago, it had very nearly stolen her nakama…

She quietly pulled Chopper into an embrace. "I'm not going anywhere. None of us are." And as if to reinforce the point, she bent her head down slightly and kissed the tip of his blue nose.

A fierce red blush crossed Chopper's face at that. "H-hey, cut it out, you asshole! Even if you cuddle me, I'm not happy in the least!" he exclaimed in a very contradictory voice, even as he giggled in excitement.

Robin smiled knowingly. "Sure you're not."

Silence fell upon the deck for a moment. Then Chopper looked up at her. "Robin?"

"Hmm?"

Again the little reindeer blushed. "I'm glad you're our nakama."

Robin laughed softly. "Me too, Chopper. Me too."

And with that she resumed her stargazing, her embrace of Chopper never faltering even for a moment.

--

neomage: I admit it. I have a weakness for Chopper/Robin. So what? They're so cute together!

More to come! Stay tuned!


	3. Vignette 03

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 03**

"Dumb-ass ero-cook, you wanna say that again?"

"Sure thing, shitty swordsman! You're a moss-head with seaweed for brains!"

"At least I have _something_ for brains—but what do you have besides your damn curly eyebrow?"

His visible eye widening in rage, Sanji swung a kick to Zoro's head—but that was blocked by Zoro's katana. "You piece-of-crap marimo, what'd you say about my eyebrow?" Sanji yelled.

"Oh, look at me! I'm an ero-cook with a freaky-ass curly hair on my face!" Zoro said tauntingly.

Sanji pressed his foot against Zoro's blade. "Says the moron who uses a headband to cover up his ugly hairdo!" he shot back. "Now all you need is a mask to cover your ugly face!"

One eye twitching, Zoro unsheathed a second sword and slashed at Sanji—who nimbly jumped away in time. "That does it, you bastard—I'm gonna cut your head off right now!" Zoro roared.

"Not before I kick yours off, shit-face!" Sanji retorted.

Zoro lunged forward, slashing at Sanji with both swords. Sanji, however, managed to kick the flats of the blades, maneuvering them away from him, then swiftly flipped into a hand-stand and swung one leg down toward Zoro's head. The swordsman, knocked momentarily off-balance by Sanji's defensive maneuver, swiftly recovered and raised a sword to block the cook's kick. He then lifted his other blade and stabbed forward—but Sanji dropped down from his hand-stand, kicking out at Zoro's legs. In turn, Zoro jumped to avoid this attack, swinging down with both swords as he did; in retaliation, Sanji kicked upward with one leg, catching the sole of his boot against the hilt of both swords and stopping the attack right there.

Presently the two men jumped away from each other, breathing somewhat heavily from the exertion but never easing the glares they were giving each other. "Shitty marimo bastard…" Sanji grunted.

"Worthless ero-punk…" Zoro snarled, even as he now swiftly drew his third katana and put its handle into his mouth, readying himself in his infamous Santouryu stance.

_THWONK!_

All at once something heavy crashed down on Zoro's head, flooring him. Sanji's eye turned into a heart when he saw who it was. "Oh, well done, Nami-swaaaaaaan!" he exulted, dancing about gleefully.

Nami stood over Zoro, who she'd just clobbered, shaking her fist. Now she walked over to Sanji—and delivered a rocket-like punch to his jaw, knocking him over to the other side of the ship's deck. "You're both a bunch of morons!" she snapped. "Next time you dare to start fighting on the deck when I'm trying to enjoy my peace and quiet, I'll kill both of you!"

"Hai…hai…" Zoro mumbled from his defeated position, his eyes in dazed swirls even as a large red lump swelled uncontrollably on his head.

"Nami-swan is so beautiful when she's laying down the law…!" Sanji croaked through a mouth of broken teeth, even as a dazed swirl emerged in place of his own eye and his jaw swelled out of control where Nami had punched him.

Glaring at the two, Nami turned and stomped off. Shaking himself, Zoro slowly picked himself up and rubbed his head where Nami had hit him; Sanji did likewise a moment later, rubbing his swollen jaw. "Well…that didn't go so well…" Zoro sighed.

Sanji shrugged. "At least your coordination's gotten better, marimo."

"And your agility's improving, ero-cook," Zoro nodded. "Although, in the end, that damn Nami is the only opponent neither of us can ever win against…"

Sanji took out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, and lit it. "Well, against beauty such as Nami-san's, who could?"

Zoro snorted. "Honestly, I don't know what you see in that woman. She's a demon in disguise."

Sanji looked at him. "What's that you said about Nami-san? I dare you to repeat it!"

"What're you gonna do about it, curly-brow bastard?" Zoro grated, readying his swords again.

"Zoro! Sanji! Are you two out there fighting again?" Nami's voice called out from the library.

"Uh—no, no, it's all good," Zoro answered hastily, re-sheathing his swords.

"Everything's fine, Nami-saaaaan!" Sanji cried out, a heart replacing his eye again.

"Good!" Nami answered back. "In that case, Sanji, could you please make me some sandwiches?"

"Right away, my Nami-swaaaaaaan!" Sanji replied, hurrying toward the kitchen.

Zoro shook his head. "Sigh…it's already too late for that poor ero-cook…"

--

neomage: Winner by dual knockout—Nami! And on another note, I'm of the belief, especially since watching the first couple episodes of the Thriller Bark arc, that Zoro and Sanji's constant comical skirmishes are really an alternate means of training for both of them. Is there anybody else who believes this? Anyone?

In any case, more to come! Stay tuned!


	4. Vignette 04

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 04**

"Usopp? Are you in there?"

Nami knocked on the door to Usopp's workshop. "Usopp! It's Nami! Can I come in?" she called again.

"The door's open!" Usopp's voice answered.

Nodding, Nami pushed the door open and stepped into the workshop. "Oh? You were working on something?" she asked, somewhat apologetic. "I could come back later…"

Usopp was at his work-desk, with various tools spread out in front of him. "Ah, no, it's fine," he assured her. "Just sit down for a bit. Was there something you needed? Maybe you need me to adjust your Clima-Tact?"

"No, no, it's not like that…actually, there was something I wanted to ask you," Nami told him, sitting down on a stool near the table.

Usopp's face lit up. "Ah! You want to hear a tale of the grand adventures of the brave and mighty Captain Usopp, do you now?" he asked boastfully, flexing his muscles and puffing out his chest in a grandiose gesture.

"Shut up, baka—this is serious," Nami reproved him. Then just as quickly, her face became more thoughtful. "This is msomething I've been wondering for a while now…"

Now Usopp cocked his eyebrow at the expression Nami was wearing. "Huh?"

Nami sighed. "Usopp…you and I…do we really deserve to be in this crew?"

Surprise etched itself on Usopp's face. "Wh-wh-what? Nami, what're you talking about?"

"It's just…" Nami shook her head sadly. "Usopp, have you really taken a look at this crew? Think about it for a bit. Luffy, Chopper, Robin-nee-san—all of them are Devil Fruit users, plus Chopper's a talking reindeer. Zoro and Sanji-kun have impossible strength and fighting ability. Franky's a cyborg with a body of steel. And then there's you and me…we don't have super-strength, we're not good fighters, we haven't eaten Devil Fruits. We're the two most normal members of this crew. How can we possibly fit in with people like them?"

Usopp was silent for a moment as he considered Nami's statement. Then he chuckled. "Oy, Nami…okay, I admit it's true you and I are more normal than anyone else on this ship. But we're not totally useless, now are we? I mean, we're part of this crew for a reason—we DO have outstanding skills that make us important!"

Nami looked up at Usopp as he said that. "Well, that is true, I guess…you're the sniper, and I'm the navigator…"

"It's more than that, Nami!" Usopp said firmly. "You've got this really incredible ability to predict the weather right down to the last detail—none of us on this ship can do that! And you balance out our crew's resources really well so we don't waste anything! Me, I can snipe at targets from any distance if it's too dangerous to go up close, _and _I can design weapons that work—just look at your Clima-Tact as the perfect example of that! And besides…haven't we both taken down enemies that were supposed to be more powerful than us, including Devil Fruit users?"

"Oh, yeah…" Nami smiled a little now at the memories. "There was that woman in Baroque Works, that woman that could shoot spikes from her body, back when were all fighting to help Vivi save Alabasta…and then there was that woman in CP9, that woman who could turn herself into soap and bubbles…"

Usopp nodded. "Me, there was that one crazy henchman of Arlong's that I had to face on my own when we had to fight the fishmen to save Cocoyashi Village…and then there were those two crazy people in Baroque Works, that mole-woman and her partner…"

"Yeah—we really have been able to manage on our own, haven't we?" Nami closed her eyes and chuckled. "Guess I was worrying for nothing—here I was, thinking we'd be the weak link to the Straw Hat crew because we don't have special powers and aren't really strong fighters…"

"Yet the two of us have abilities that make us important in our own way." Usopp nodded knowingly. "And besides all that, Nami, if we didn't have anything to contribute, do you think Luffy would've let us onto his crew?"

Nami couldn't help but chuckle a little as she considered that point. "It's true, isn't it? Somehow, Luffy seems to know just who is perfect for becoming his nakama."

"Yeah…and there's one other thing we have in common too, you and I," Usopp added.

"What's that?" Nami asked.

Usopp chuckled. "We're both big cowards."

"I am not! You're worse of a coward than I am! Making up all kinds of imaginary diseases just so you won't have to do certain things!" Nami snapped, fangs in her mouth.

"Well, you suffer from those diseases sometimes too!" Usopp snapped back.

Then, just as quickly, he calmed down and smiled. "Still…the point is, Nami, even if we're not super-people, the two of us have skills that this crew couldn't get far without. Without you, Luffy would've been lost all over the Grand Line…without me, Robin wouldn't have been saved from Enies Lobby…"

"Yeah." Nami smiled gently now. "Thanks, Usopp. I really feel better now."

Usopp grinned and tapped his chest importantly. "Just come and see Captain Usopp if you ever need further counseling!" he boasted.

"Whatever!" Nami laughed.

--

neomage: Well, here's the Usopp/Nami pairing by way of request. Of course, I couldn't really see these two as a romantic couple, but I was able to focus on the fact that both of them are the two most normal Straw Hats. And somehow, I think it works. Well, anyway, more to come soon!


	5. Vignette 05

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 05**

Rob Lucci was in a bad mood.

Then again, he'd been in a perpetual bad mood ever since that humiliating day at Enies Lobby. To think that he, the strongest member of Cipher Pol 9's most powerful incarnation, was bested by a certain stubborn-as-hell pirate captain…it was enough to make him literally see red. It was just that today was worse than most.

Having barely managed to escape the destruction of the judiciary isle brought about by that retard Spandam's dimwitted summoning of the Buster Call, Lucci and the other CP9 agents had decided to lay low for a while. Since, by the World Government's standards, CP9 wasn't supposed to exist anyway, it didn't surprise Lucci one bit that nobody had come to retrieve them. And in any case, nothing was supposed to be retrievable from the aftereffects of a Buster Call. That, combined with the heavy injuries they'd sustained fighting the Straw Hat Pirates, would only support any assumption that they were dead.

So Lucci and three of the others—Kaku, Kalifa and Jyabura—had managed to escape the carnage that was Enies Lobby after all. Laying low, getting a hold of one of the warships that had somehow managed to survive the Straw Hats' destructive escape from the island, and heading as far away from the site as possible had been difficult, considering their injuries, but not altogether impossible. The plan from there was simple: head to the nearest island, recuperate, and lay low for a little while. Then, when the time was right, they would have their revenge against the Straw Hats for interfering with the due process of justice.

By chance, they'd landed on an island just a few hundred miles away from Enies Lobby. This island in question bore a small hamlet on its shores, with civilians who were more than willing to aid the former CP9 agents. To that end, the four had been offered a room at the local inn, where they could stay until their wounds healed completely. Naturally, Lucci and the others did not reveal their true identities as agents of the World Government who'd just lost a battle against a bunch of pirates, and thankfully the locals didn't ask. (Then again, a glare from Lucci was all it took to halt any questions before they were asked.)

So far, the plan of relative anonymity was working. But still Lucci remained in a bad mood, especially now.

He absolutely hated the stillness, the tranquility, the slowness of life that this island reeked of. If that had been the only factor, he might've tolerated it—but then there were his fellow CP9 agents to contend with. Kalifa was all right, she was mostly quiet, didn't speak much unless spoken to, and definitely didn't address him or attempt to engage him in conversation unless the subject matter was actually pertinent. Kaku was constantly trying to liven up the atmosphere in their shared room with witty banter and a few jokes here and there—but Lucci could deal with it, at least; it had been part of Kaku's personality when they were undercover in Water 7 for the past five years. But it was Jyabura that really got under Lucci's skin. The two of them had never been able to stand each other, but ever since they landed on this island Jyabura had been putting himself dangerously closer to going on the extinct species' list.

Just this morning, after Lucci woke up, he'd found a roll of catnip and a ball of yarn on his bed. Then, for breakfast—and it had been Jyabura's turn to do the meal this morning—while Kaku and Kalifa got the obligatory eggs and sausages, Lucci got a saucer of milk. And then, not more than an hour ago, Lucci had come back from wandering aimlessly around the town—he'd had to do _something_ to relieve his boredom—only to find a stuffed kitten on his bed.

In short, Jyabura was whittling down what little tolerance and patience for him Lucci had. If Jyabura dared to even _think_ of pulling one more stunt like any of the above…he would make Jyabura suffer. Most painfully. By digging out his internal organs. One by one. In alphabetical order. Then he'd feed those internal organs to Jyabura. Forcefully. Even if one of them happened to be Jyabura's stomach. At least then Lucci's boredom would be sated somewhat.

A voice spoke out from outside in the hallway. "Oi, oi, Jyabura, I'm telling you, this is not a good idea…"

That was Kaku. And he sounded a tad bit worried. Lucci cocked an eyebrow slightly, got up and walked over to the door.

"Don't be such a pansy!" Jyabura laughed. "All that that leopard-boy has to do is go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and…"

"…and then he'll rip out your intestines and strangle you with them," said Kaku sternly. "I'm telling you, man, get that thing out of there now before—"

FWOOSH! Followed a moment later by a loud scream.

"Ha! He fell for it! And screaming like a little bitch, to boot!" Jyabura howled triumphantly.

Lucci decided not to keep Jyabura in suspense. He opened the door, revealing the other two CP9 agents standing there. "What exactly were you planning, mutt?" he asked nonchalantly.

Jyabura and Kaku looked up at the sound of Lucci's voice. "What the…! Lucci!" Kaku exclaimed, shock written all over his face.

"But—if you're there—then who was—" Jyabura was pointing from Lucci to the direction of the bathroom and back again—and suddenly he paled. "Uh-oh…"

The bathroom door banged open—and out stepped Kalifa, soaking wet and with a peeved expression on her face. "All right—who's the idiot that was responsible for rigging the toilet seat?" she demanded.

Jyabura chuckled nervously. "Um…heh, heh…maybe you'd like to go sun yourself outside…?"

The look Kalifa gave him sent him bolting for the inn's front door.

"Uh, right…I'll just be outside if I'm needed for anything…" And as smoothly as he could muster, Kaku turned and walked off. Watching his exit with a look that would've withered any other being, Kalifa turned and stormed back into the bathroom, the soapy bubbles of her Bubble Bubble Fruit powers already taking effect.

Observing her leaving for a moment, Lucci shrugged and went back inside the room, closing the door. Only now he couldn't help but smirk as he imagined the torture Jyabura would be subjected to later when Kalifa eventually found him out. And he would personally ensure that Kalifa found out just _who_ had masterminded the failed prank.

Rob Lucci's bad mood had been lifted. Being a witness to random chaos always worked wonders for him.

--

neomage: Yeah, a lot of OOC-ness from CP9, I know…let me know what you guys think. More to come soon!


	6. Vignette 06

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 06**

"C'mon, Mihawk; please?"

"No."

Shanks pouted. "Aw, why not?"

Mihawk rubbed a hand over his face and sighed in exasperation. "It's stupid, it's retarded, it's childish, and it's pointless."

Shanks' face fell even further. "No, it's not!" he whined. "It's fun!"

Mihawk glanced over at Shanks' crewmates, all lounging around seemingly without a care in the world. "How do you guys survive with an idiot like this as your captain?" he asked.

Ben Beckman, Shanks' first mate, shrugged. "Well, he's one of the Yonkou now, so…what's to worry about?" he answered.

"Had to have been dumb luck…" Mihawk grumbled.

"Come on, Mihawk! It won't be stupid, I promise!" Shanks pleaded, looking at Mihawk with puppy-dog eyes.

Yasopp, Shanks' sharpshooter, shuddered. "Oh, crap…Shanks just gave him the puppy-dog look…"

Lucky Roux, another crewmate of Shanks', took a bite from a large rack of meat he was holding. "Gosh, Shanks looks so pathetic when he does that," and some of the crew laughed at the statement.

Mihawk glared in response to the puppy-dog look. "Give me one good reason _why_ I should even consider doing it, Shanks. One."

"Sure!" Shanks said brightly. "You see, Mihawk, it'll provide a nice, relaxing way to train your hand/eye coordination. And being a swordsman, isn't it important that you keep your hand/eye coordination at top-notch?"

Mihawk silently cursed—Shanks had a good point there. "But even so…to do such a dumb thing…" he muttered.

"It'll also train your reflexes," Shanks went on, as if he hadn't heard Mihawk. "And all swordsmen must always do what they can to maintain their reflexes, especially with their sword-arms."

One of Mihawk's eyebrows was twitching.

"And furthermore," continued Shanks, his voice dropping so low that only Mihawk could hear him, "if you keep refusing, I'll tell my whole crew here about that one time in South Blue, before the last time you and I had a sword-duel." He smirked. "You DO remember, don't you? That time when you bought pickled Sea King meat from that vendor, and had to stay in the bathroom for almost an hour afterwards…"

Mihawk turned white. "You swore you'd never bring that up again!" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Then do this with me. What's the harm?" Shanks smiled knowingly.

"I will get you for this…" Mihawk threatened. "FINE! I'll do it!"

"You hear that, boys?" Shanks called to his crew. "Start putting your bets! Me or Mihawk—which of us will win?"

"AYE!" his crewmates yelled in delight, swiftly gathering around. Yasopp immediately began his rounds, collecting money and bet declarations.

Shanks and Mihawk stood facing each other. Shanks had his one arm extended forward, fingers curled into a fist. Mihawk did likewise for his sword-hand. Ben stood nearby, observing both of them.

"Ready, gentlemen?" Ben asked. "Then…BEGIN!"

Shanks' face was now serious. Mihawk's expression hadn't changed.

Then both men moved their fists up and down in front of each other.

"Rock—paper—SCISSORS!"

--

neomage: Heh…I laughed when I was writing the very end of this chapter. It was pretty funny. Well, more to come!


	7. Vignette 07

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

--

**Vignette 07**

Off in the distant east, the sun was just beginning to rise on the horizon; its rays, faint at first, nonetheless painted the section of the ocean where it could be seen a beautiful combination of red and yellow. The sun's light was not bright enough yet, but nonetheless what little light there was, was enough for Luffy. And Luffy had a good plan—at least, he figured it was good.

It had been such a long time since the crew had done this, he recalled. And since they had three new members now, he figured that it wouldn't hurt to bring them in on it as well. Especially since they were now en route to the Florian Triangle…they needed this, in order to be able to face whatever challenges lay ahead. Whether powerful foes, or strong monsters, or raging storms on the sea…as long as they did this, everything would be fine.

He took a deep breath, inhaling until his chest was quite literally expanding. Then: "OY, EVERYBODY! WAKE UP! GET OUT HERE NOW!"

For answer he heard loud noises of feet shuffling, agitated voices cursing, and then footsteps rapidly approached from every quarter of the ship. Above him, in the crow's nest, Luffy briefly glanced up to see Zoro clumsily and very sleepily making his way down the ladder. "Oy, Luffy, what's the big idea?" Zoro growled.

The others soon emerged as well, with varying degrees of wakefulness: Robin and Nami from the ship's library, Sanji from the kitchen, Chopper from his sickbay, and Usopp and Franky from their respective workshops. "Luffy, what is it? Are we under attack or something?" asked Usopp, ever so paranoid.

"No…there don't seem to be any enemy vessels around…" Robin glanced out to sea, then back at Luffy. "Is anything wrong, Luffy? It's rather early in the morning…"

"This better be good, you shitty loudmouth…I'm trying to make a good breakfast, and if it gets burnt, I'm tossing you overboard!" Sanji threatened.

But Luffy merely chuckled. "I just wanted to call everybody together so we could do _this_ again," and here he patted something the others hadn't noticed yet: four barrels placed together and upright in a square pattern. "Remember Loguetown?"

Zoro had by now finished climbing down the ladder of the crow's nest and was on deck. "Loguetown? What about it?" he grunted.

"Awww…you don't remember?" Luffy pouted. "That thing we did, with the barrel, on the Going Merry…"

Nami blinked in confusion—and then memory clicked. "Oh…THAT!" she exclaimed, her face brightening.

"That?" Chopper looked at them all in confusion.

Sanji was smiling now, too. "Reaffirmation of our dreams…we did that right before we reached Reverse Mountain…has it really been that long since then…?"

Franky grinned. "Sounds interesting, Straw Hat!" he said. "I'm up for it!"

"Then let's do it!" Luffy lifted one leg and placed his foot on top of one of the barrels. "Yosh! As captain of this ship, I'll go first! And my dream is…" He paused for dramatic effect. "To be Pirate King!"

Zoro smirked, stepped forward, and placed his foot on top of another of the barrels. "To be the world's best swordsman."

Sanji stepped forward and added his foot. "To find All Blue."

Fully awakened by now, Nami bounded forward and added her foot as well. "To draw a map of the world!"

Now Usopp was grinning, even as he stepped forward. "To be a brave warrior of the sea!" he declared, putting his foot up there with the others.

"Wow!" Chopper was spellbound at this—then, transforming into his Heavy Point form, he stepped up and added his foot to the others'. "To become the world's best doctor!"

Robin chuckled in amusement, even as she stepped forward and put up her foot on the barrels. "To find the Rio Poneglyph."

Franky hurried forward and added his foot to the group. "To see this ship that I built sail all over the world! Suuu-per!"

"All right!" Luffy grinned. "Everybody, captain's orders!" Here he raised his foot skyward. "Let's follow our dreams—together!"

The others crew members raised their feet along with Luffy, all now feeling fully energized and ready to take on whatever awaited them. "AYE!"

And now the sun, higher in the sky and still rising, shone more brightly and illuminated the Thousand Sunny's lion figurehead, almost making it truly seem a miniature sun.

--

neomage: C'mon, you gotta admit, it's been a while since the Straw Hats did this little "ceremony" of theirs, and it's fun, cool, and solemn all at the same time! Anyway, review soon, everyone!


	8. Vignette 08

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

----------

**Vignette 08**

Donquixote Doflamingo burst into his room with a large sack over his shoulder and a grin on his face. "Finally! My fan-mail's arrived!"

Excitedly he dumped the sack onto his bed, then hurriedly tore into it and pulled out an armful of letters. "Okay, let's see what the fans have to say," he announced aloud, and with that he picked a letter at random, tore the envelope open and pulled out a sheet of paper._ "Dear Doflamingo-sama, please tell us, once and for all, because we your loyal fan-base are dying to know. Your uber-cool ability to control people like puppets—is it a Devil Fruit, or is it something else, like Miss Goldenweek's Colors Trap hypnotism powers?"_

Doflamingo frowned at that. "Hmm…how to respond to this one…"

He glanced over at a computer that sat all by itself on the desk near his window. Crossing over to it, he powered it on and waited for it to load up completely. Once that was done, he sat down and began to type. "Dear fans," he spoke aloud as he typed, "in response to your question as to whether my puppeteer power is the result of a Devil Fruit or something else…if you really want to know that badly, ask the man who first started this little crap-club you call the Shichibukai. He'll be more forthcoming with personal info about me than I myself will ever be! Nyeeeeeh!"

He then pulled out another random letter from the stash. _"Dear Donquixote-kun, why don't you believe in dreams? That's mean of you to make fun of people's dreams!"_

He sighed in response and proceeded to do some more typing on the computer. "Dear idiot," he said aloud, "whether you want to dream or not is none of my concern. But if you will simply take your head out of the clouds, or out of your ass, or wherever it happens to be at the moment, and take a hard look at reality, you will find that it is far better to be a practical realist than to be a fanatical dreamer."

Again he picked another random letter and opened it. _"Dear flamingo-boy, I know that it was you who stole my croissants yesterday. I will have my vengeance. Rest assured of that."_

He laughed and crushed the letter into a ball, tossing it out the window. "Bite me, Mihawk."

Yet another random letter was opened and read. _"Dear Doflamingo-san, just out of curiosity…if anybody else on the show, besides those of you currently in the Shichibukai, could actually qualify to be Shichibukai, who do you think they would be?"_

At that one Doflamingo frowned. "Who else on this show could qualify to be Shichibukai? Hmm…that's a tough one…I mean, the Shichibukai wouldn't be the Shichibukai without ME in it! But still, since you say it has to be people other than us currently canonical Shichibukai…" He furrowed his brow in deep thought. "Well…that dirt-loving fanatic Eneru could actually qualify—I mean, his Goro Goro no Mi is pretty strong. Who else? Well…that one Baroque Works henchman of Crocodile's, Das Bones—or was it Mr. 1 they called him? Yeah, he'd make the cut, so to speak…oh and probably that one chick, Alvida…hmm…maybe that shark-guy, Arlong…and that creepy leopard guy from CP9—Lucci, I think his name was—of course, that'd only be if he was a pirate. Hmm, I think that's five out of seven…ah, what the hell. I guess you could give the role to that little dry-faced loser Foxy—at least his Noro Noro no Mi's good for _something._ And maybe Nico Robin, too…I mean if the World Government had actually been thinking with their puny brains, they'd have realized that maybe making Nico Robin a Shichibukai would've allowed them to have control over her. But then again, that's just me."

He fiddled around in the stash of letters and picked out another. _"Hello, Donquixote-san! We'd very much like to know: Boxers or briefs? Or…panties…?"_

At this Doflamingo paled. "Creepy fan-girls…it was them that sent this one, wasn't it? Well, I'll just have them know…" He typed furiously on the computer keyboard. "Let it be known, once and for all—I DO NOT WEAR PANTIES! And what I DO wear is none of your beeswax! End of discussion!"

A moment later he leaned back in his chair and breathed a sigh. "Sheesh…fan letters are more trouble than I thought…"

Suddenly, the door burst open—and there stood a tall, muscular woman clad in an apron and with a rolling pin in one hand. "DOFLAMINGO!" she roared.

"Yipe!" Doflamingo jumped at the bellow—then paled when he saw who it was. "Uh…er…h-h-hi, Mother," he stammered. "I, uh…I didn't hear you knock…?"

His mother cast a disdainful glance at the stash of letters. "Oh, so you can find time to respond to your dumb fan-mail, but you can't find time to write one measly letter to your mother?" she snapped. "Whatever happened to your manners, boy? I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget!"

"Now, hang on, Mother, I can explain," Doflaming began. "I've been really busy with my role as a Shichibukai, and—hey, wait a minute, put down the rolling pi—AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

And…outside the door, as carnage reigned in Doflamingo's room and his screams could be heard…Mihawk smirked while nibbling on a croissant. "I told you I would have my vengeance, flamingo-boy," he chuckled.

----------

neomage: Actually, I HAVE been wondering about Doflamingo's power, as I'm sure many other One Piece fans have. Is it a Devil Fruit power or not? And I'd really like to know about the powers of the Eleven Supernovas (excluding Luffy and Zoro, of course) who were introduced in the manga recently…but I don't know how to write to Oda-san's SBS sessions to ask him about any of that. And also, I HAVE dabbled with the idea of different people in the Shichibukai…what say you folks out there?

And, on another note…for those of you who've been following my other One Piece fic, "The Yellow Jacket Pirates," please go back and read it again. Because of recent events I've read up on in the manga, I've had to do a complete overhaul of the chapters for that story. As a result, one of my characters that had a certain Devil Fruit ability no longer has it, and another character that didn't have a Devil Fruit ability now has one. Please go back and read the whole story again to get the full idea of the changes I had to make.

Anywho, more vignettes are on the way! Stay tuned!


	9. Vignette 09

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

----------

**Vignette 09**

"_The members of the Straw Hat pirate crew are cordially invited to the annual One Piece Cast & Crew Anime Cosplay Gala. You are each free to dress up as one character from one other anime. The gala will be held at the location for Enies Lobby, on Wednesday, at 7:30 p.m."_

Nami read through the invitation one more time, then she examined the outfit she currently wore—one that was drastically different from her regular outfit. She was clad in a yellow T-shirt, blue shorts with red suspenders, and blue and white sneakers. Her hair was partially done in a ponytail that stuck up at an angle from her head. Hanging from her belt were six red and white orbs. Now, taking a deep breath, she tucked the invitation into a pocket and headed for the door of her cabin. She opened it, and…

"Ah! Look! It's the beautiful Misty from Pokémon!"

Nami rolled her eyes. "Shut up, _Deidara."_

This was addressed to Sanji—only, he wasn't in his familiar black tuxedo. Now, he was clad in a big black cloak with red clouds printed all over its design, and open-toed sandals. He had purple nail polish on his fingers and toes, and his hair was parted back somewhat—but over his left eye he wore a bizarre metallic contraption of sorts. "Do you like my outfit, Nami-san? Do I not make an excellent Akatsuki member?" Sanji asked proudly.

Off to one side, Zoro sat with a huge scowl on his face. "Why do I have to dress up in this stupid costume?" he demanded, looking disdainfully at his costume.

"Because it's a _cosplay_ party, baka—you HAVE to dress up," Nami pointed out.

Zoro was wearing a big black robe, white sandals with white socks, and in one hand he hefted an impossibly large, crescent-shaped sword. But what stood out most at the moment was his hair—dyed orange instead of it being the usual green. "And whose idea was it that I should be Bleach's main character?" he snarled.

"Well, _you're_ the one who said you wouldn't go to the party unless you got to dress up as a swordsman," Nami reminded him. "So quit complaining."

"Ahhh…I want a bite to eat—I mean, drink! Aw, geez, the line sounds so dumb…"

The trio turned on hearing Luffy's voice—and there he was, wearing a black Victorian-era tuxedo, and over that he had on a large red trench-coat. A set of fake fangs was in his mouth, and at his sides were strapped two imitation pistols. And…on his head was his familiar straw hat. "Namiiiiii…can we PLEASE hurry and get to the party so I can get out of this suit? It's hot under here!" he complained.

Nami made a face. "You're not the only one who has to dress up, so deal with it," she said flatly. "And where the hell is the red hat you got with that costume, Luffy? If you're going to play Alucard, you can't wear your regular hat!"

"But I like my regular hat!" Luffy pouted.

"Problems, everyone?"

All four looked up at the sound of the voice. "Oh, Robin-chwan! You look so DIVINE!" Sanji immediately swooned, his visible eye replaced by a heart.

Robin was dressed in a conservative-looking Victorian-era dress, and over her black hair she was wearing a light brown wig. "Why, thank you," she answered. "Nami-chan, what do you think? Do I make a good Witch Hunter?"

"Yes—and you're the only one who's actually convincing in your costume," Nami answered.

"All right! We're ready now—and feelin' SUUU-PAAAA!" Franky's loud voice emerged all at once.

The others turned to bear witness as Franky, Usopp and Chopper all appeared on the deck. But there were marked differences: Franky's hair was now dyed bright gold, and he wore an orange martial arts gi with blue boots. Usopp was dressed in a blue jacket-suit with the jacket's arms rolled up to the elbows; under the jacket he had on a yellow dress shirt; and his hair had a dark green outline in it for some reason. Chopper, in Brain Point form, was stuffed into a yellow costume that made him look like a giant rat. "How do we look, guys?" Chopper asked cheerily.

Robin chuckled a bit. "You look convincing, Chopper-kun," she told him.

"Indeed you do," Nami smiled. "Can't say the same for these other two, though…" and she shook her head at Franky and Usopp. "Franky, I think you've been watching too many Dragon Ball Z videos…and Usopp, just who the hell are you supposed to be, anyway?"

"What? Don't you recognize a good ol' space cowboy when you see one?" Usopp demanded.

For answer all he got was mostly blank faces. "Uh…ahem? Swordfish II? Bounty hunter? Mortal enemy is Vicious?"

"You've lost me…" Sanji cocked his head to one side.

"Well, maybe _somebody_ at the party will recognize who you're supposed to be," Nami shrugged. "In any case, guys…let's head on to the party!"

"I just hope the saké will be worth the trouble…" Zoro grunted.

Sanji grinned evilly at him. "Sure, sure…carrot-top."

Moments later the others were pointedly minding their own business as the Akatsuki and Bleach cosplayers went at each other's throats.

-----

neomage: Well, at least YOU readers won't be kept in suspense. In case you haven't figured out each character yet: Nami is Misty from _Pokémon, _Sanji is Deidara from _Naruto, _Zoro is Kurosaki Ichigo from _Bleach,_ Luffy is Alucard from _Hellsing,_ Robin is…well, the title character from _Witch Hunter Robin,_ Franky is Super-Saiyan Goku from _Dragon Ball Z, _Usopp is Spike Spiegel from _Cowboy Bebop,_ and Chopper is Pokémon's mascot, Pikachu. And…more vignettes are coming up! Stay tuned!


	10. Vignette 10

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

----------

**Vignette 10**

Aokiji looked somewhat apprehensive as he sat down at the table in the smoky bar. "I hope you realize, it will not look good for a Marine of my rank to be seen in your company," he said in a low tone.

Sitting down next to the Admiral, Garp chortled. "No need to worry," he said. "When _this _man makes arrangements, he makes them thoroughly." He then looked across the table at a figure in a dark green hooded robe. "Isn't that right, son?"

The addressed figure smirked a little and raised his head, revealing a face with red tattoos on the left side. "Quite so, Father, quite so," he replied. "And thank you for coming on such short notice…all of you."

He appraised the men sitting at the table before him: besides Aokiji and Garp, there were Red-Haired Shanks, Hawk-Eyes Mihawk, and the huge Bartholomew Kuma. "Heh…who'd have thought?" Shanks now spoke. "The infamous Revolutionary leader, Dragon…to think that he could be Luffy's father, and Garp's son…"

"Hmph." Dragon turned his attention to Garp. "So, Father…Luffy knows about me now, yes?"

"Indeed he does," Garp replied. "Although I probably shouldn't have said anything about it to him…but then again, it won't make much of a difference to him as to who you are in the eyes of the world, or what you've done. He doesn't know the whole story yet."

"That is just as well. I would rather tell him myself, when we meet eventually." Dragon then turned to Aokiji. "My apologies for my son wrecking your precious judicial isle, Admiral. I hope the World Government's budget can cover the repairs."

"Meh, it happens," Aokiji shrugged. "It _was_ quite a gamble you took, though, that the Straw Hat crew would actually be able to rescue Nico Robin and escape Enies Lobby alive."

"And yet it was a gamble well worth making, wouldn't you say?" Dragon returned.

"As have all the other gambles you have made, evidently." Mihawk's eyes narrowed a bit as he said this. "Like how you predicted what the outcome of the war in Alabasta would be…or what the Straw Hat crew would do on the Sky Island…"

"Mmm-hmm." Now Dragon's face was suddenly serious. "But there is still a great work for them to do. If they are to endure the challenges that lay ahead, they must become stronger, better than they are at the moment."

"Pshaw! Luffy and his friends are much stronger than that, Dragon! You've seen their bounty posters that the Marines have issued, haven't you?" asked Garp.

"I know I have," and here Mihawk reached into his coat and pulled out several bounty posters. Shifting through them for a moment, he selected two and placed them face-up on the table for the others to see. "The two strongest members…Monkey D. Luffy, 300 million Berries; and Roronoa Zoro, 120 million Berries. If these bounties indicate the threat levels of these two alone…"

"And that doesn't even take into account the threat levels of the others on their crew," Aokiji noted. "I even think some of those other bounties are inaccurate…"

"In any case, Luffy and his nakama are developing impressively," Shanks commented.

"Yes…but against what lies in store for them on their journey, it will not be nearly enough." Dragon shook his head. "They need to be further fortified…particularly considering the movements of one very troublesome annoyance." He looked across at Shanks. "You should know who I am talking about…" and here he pointed to his own left eye for emphasis.

Shanks nodded in understanding, his face instantly grave. "Marshall D. Teach…"

"Yes, I have my worries about that man…who knows what he may be up to." Aokiji scowled. "So what is to be done?"

"That is where my old friend here comes in." Dragon now turned his attention to Kuma, who so far hadn't said a word. "Kuma…?"

As one, the others turned and looked at Kuma. He, in turn, merely nodded. "Yes…I understand what is to be done." He glanced over at Dragon. "It _will _be done."

"Hmm?" Aokiji lifted an eyebrow. "And what is this that you've got in mind, Dragon—using one of the World Government's Shichibukai for your own ends?"

"Relax, Admiral," Dragon said coolly. "Kuma and I have…history, shall we say? I understand him; he understands me. That is all there is to it."

Mihawk smirked. "You _do_ have big plans for the Straw Hats, don't you, now?"

"I have plans for _Luffy,"_ Dragon returned. "His nakama will simply be reaping the benefit of the spoils. Not that I have any problem with that, of course…" He chuckled. "And no, Father, those plans do not involve Luffy becoming a Marine. You may as well get that silly dream out of your mind before you become senile."

"Hmph." Now Garp scowled. "Blame it on the Red-Hair for corrupting my grandson…"

"Says the man who nearly killed his own grandson and called it training," Shanks countered.

"In any case…let us now focus on what is next for Luffy and his crew as they continue their journey. As I said, there is still much that they must do." And Dragon's eyes flashed.

----------

neomage: Read this chapter and draw your own conclusions from it. And bear in mind, as you do, that this is strictly _non-canon…_although it may just be the basis for spoilers. And those of you who've read the manga past the Enies Lobby arc will know what I'm talking about.

Well…more to come, in due time! Review soon, please!


	11. Vignette 11

"One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece"

A Fan-Fiction by Neomage

(DISCLAIMER: The title of this series of vignettes was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book title, "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." I hold no claim to ownership of that book title.

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.)

**Vignette 11**

"OI, SANJI!"

The blond-haired cook, standing over the stove with two pots bubbling in front of him, sighed loudly as he heard his captain yelling at him from the galley doorway. "No, Luffy, lunch isn't ready yet. Just go back outside and wait, would you?"

"But I wanna show you something!" Luffy persisted. "It'll be really cool, I promise!"

Sanji kept his eyes on the pots. "No, Luffy, you're not going to get the chance to steal any food from here."

"C'mon, Sanji! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeee?"

Growling, Sanji turned to face Luffy. "All right, all right, all right. But only if you promise not to touch any food in here, you got it?"

"Okay!" Luffy's face brightened. "Watch this!"

Pulling off his hat, the rubber-man stretched his arm across the kitchen and grabbed a large towel that hung on a rack near the window. Snapping his arm back to its normal length, he swiftly tied the towel over his head. Then he stretched both arms to the other side of the kitchen, this time grabbing two wooden spoons and a rolling pin from where they hung on hooks on the wall near the towel rack.

Sanji cocked a confused eyebrow. "Luffy, what—"

Then his visible eye bulged at what he saw next: Luffy put the handle of the rolling pin in his mouth, the length of the pin sticking wide out. In each hand he held one of the wooden spoons. And now, the towel on his head seemed to overshadow his brow, even as a threatening expression came over his face.

"_My name is Roronoa Zoro. I am the legendary swordsman of three toothpick swords."_

Sanji stared. And stared. And stared.

His lower lip quivered.

And then he burst out laughing. "WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! That's a good one, Luffy!"

Grinning even with the rolling pin in his mouth, Luffy continued his caricature. _"Fear me, for with these toothpicks I will poke you to death! Toothpick style…"_ He made a slight gesture with his arms and his head. _"Baka no Zoro Ougi!"_

Now Sanji was laughing his head off, slapping his knee helplessly…and glanced up in time to see a familiar marimo standing at the doorway. At once his laughter vanished. "Luffy…"

"_What's the matter, love-cook? Scared of my toothpicks?"_ Luffy replied in the same threatening voice.

Seeing the umbrage growing in Zoro's face behind Luffy, Sanji frantically made swishing gestures across his neck with his hand, then waved both hands in front of himself. But still Luffy continued talking, _"Yes, fear me, for I will bash you on the head if you resist me and my toothpicks!"_

The swordsman's eyes narrowed into slits. Sanji desperately tried to shush Luffy. Luffy made arm and head movements with the wooden spoons and rolling pin.

"_**Oi, Luffy…"**_

Luffy froze. Slowly he turned his head around. "Ah…Zoro…uh, heh, heh, heh…we were just…talking about you…?" he said, very weakly.

Zoro had all of his swords drawn and ready.

_CRAP!_ Sanji's mind screamed.

"SANTORYU…TATSU MAKI!"

Neomage: Yeah…hilarity has ensued. Sorry for the long wait, guys, but things have been pretty busy on my end of the world.

Review soon, please!


End file.
